вЂњDo you soak it overnight in, like, rum?вЂќ вЂњYou definitely do something with the fruit,вЂќ Sorcha goes. Yeah, no, SorchaвЂ™s been trying to, like, replicate the recipe for years. вЂњOkay,вЂќ she goes, вЂњI know thereвЂ™s definitely cinnamon in it?вЂќ She opens the cupboard and whips out her mixing bowl. Sorcha refuses to take no for an answer, though. SorchaвЂ™s old dear goes, вЂњLike I said to you last year, and the year before, and the year before that, I am not giving you the recipe,вЂќ and sheвЂ™s definitely storting to lose it with her. If something awful happened to you, the secret of your great-great-great-grandmotherвЂ™s Christmas pudding would be lost forever.вЂќ вЂњYou told me youвЂ™ve never written the recipe down. вЂњStop telling me what weвЂ™ve learned over the last two years!вЂќ вЂњIвЂ™m not being morbid, Mom, but if weвЂ™ve learned one thing over the last two years.вЂќ вЂњWhen IвЂ™m no longer capable of making it myself.вЂќ вЂњSorcha, I told you I will give you the recipe when the time comes.вЂќ вЂњIвЂ™m just saying that maybe itвЂ™s time you handed the job over to me.вЂќ вЂњMom,вЂќ Sorcha goes in her serious voice, вЂњ IвЂ™d like to make the pudding this yearвЂќ.Д«ut her old dear is like, вЂњ I shall be making the pudding this year вЂ“ just like I make it every year.вЂќ For me, itвЂ™s like colcannon on Halloween вЂ“ if you have to hide a cash incentive inside a food, itвЂ™s almost certainly not worth eating. Apparently, itвЂ™s incredible вЂ“ although IвЂ™ll have to take everyone elseвЂ™s word for it, not being a fan of Christmas pudding. ItвЂ™s been passed down through the generations from mother to daughter. ThereвЂ™s a secret Christmas pudding recipe thatвЂ™s been in SorchaвЂ™s family for, like, more than 150 years. I probably should fill you in on the backstory here. вЂњI knew it! I said it to your father! вЂThis will be about the pudding again вЂ“ youвЂ™ll see!вЂ™вЂќ

Her old man is like, вЂYou should have had Ross neutered a long time agoвЂ™.

вЂWhat about the wheelchair that I arrived home with after Jamie HeaslipвЂ™s stag?вЂ™.

вЂItвЂ™s such a good present I actually wanted to smash it to pieces вЂ“ just purely out of spiteвЂ™.

SorchaвЂ™s old dear takes off her apron and goes, вЂњI am leaving right now unless you tell me what IвЂ™m doing here.вЂќ SorchaвЂ™s old dear is like, вЂњI beg your pordon?вЂќ I thought if the last two years have taught us anything, itвЂ™s the importance of family.вЂќ вЂњOh, pordon me for wanting to spend some time with my mother and my daughter. I just donвЂ™t know what this is all about.вЂќ

Her old dearвЂ™s there, вЂњI canвЂ™t drink, dorling, IвЂ™m driving.вЂќ вЂњOh my God, Mom, you have to try RossвЂ™s famous mulled wine! It has to be tasted to be believed!вЂќ IвЂ™m stirring the pot and IвЂ™m like, вЂњYeah, no, just adding the last of the secret ingredients, Sorcha.вЂќ

ThereвЂ™s a secret Christmas pudding recipe thatвЂ™s been in SorchaвЂ™s family for, like, more than 150 years вЂњRoss,вЂќ Sorcha goes, вЂњis the mulled wine nearly ready?вЂќ Because she definitely sounds like she could use a drink. вЂњIвЂ™m perfectly capable of having amazing fun without putting antlers on my head.вЂќ вЂњMom, please! I want to put it up on Instagram and I want it to look like weвЂ™re all having amazing, amazing fun!вЂќ IвЂ™m going carolling tonight with the Glenageary Lawn Tennis Club Christmas Choir.вЂќ SheвЂ™s there, вЂњIвЂ™ve just got my blow dry done. Mom, put your antlers on.вЂќД«ut her old dear is having none of it. вЂњHonor,вЂќ she goes, вЂњyour turn вЂ“ favourite Christmas memory. And she keeps reminding everyone, at 60-second intervals, that theyвЂ™re supposed to be having fun. SheвЂ™s got BublГ© on the CD player and she has me making my famous mulled wine.

SheвЂ™s bought matching jumpers and aprons for all of them вЂ“ oh, and yeah, no, reindeer antlers. SheвЂ™s having вЂ“ get this вЂ“ a Christmas mother and daughter day with her old dear and Honor and sheвЂ™s gone about it in her usual try-too-hord way. Sorcha has pushed the boat out in a major way here.

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